I promise not to promise...

Empty promises are everywhere. From the friend who says, "oh don't worry, I'll pay you back," to the "Congratulations, you just won 100 free ipads," pop ups on the side of your facebook page. We are all guilty at some point or another. Many times empty promises are made with the best intentions. We really did mean to pay that friend back! But even still, empty promises leave a trail of frustration and hurt behind them. We create expectation in others and then let them down.  

This has been the fallout of so many relationships, the core of so much disappointment. Surprise, 8 year old girl! You will probably never get that pony.

And then there's another kind of empty promise, the kind we promise to ourselves and to other's about ourselves.

Can anyone say, New Years resolutions? Yes, I'm 100% for self-betterment. I know that being stagnant is unrewarding and basically renders life pointless. We all want to grow and change. But the thing that bothers me, is promising myself yet another thing and then being disappointed. It's the goals and plans that i make, and then watch be dashed to the rocks by one thing or another.

So this is my question. How do I change, and grow, and have goals with out letting myself down? One of my favorite quotes is "Don't tell people your dreams, show um." I want to be someone who follows through. If I say it, it's done.

What would the world be like if we brought honor back to the words that we speak? Not only to others, but also to ourselves. Look at your new years resolutions, are they measurable, reachable goals that actually fit into your lifestyle in a reasonable way?  Make this the year. DO THEM! Modify and tweak your goals till they work for you and make them happen. Turn over a new leaf and actually pay your friend back, get the frickin pony (hypothetically of course, unless you really want a pony, then by all means...) and eat all your green vegetables!

When you say, "Oh your should come over for dinner!" to someone, try actually having them over! I know, it's a revolution. But this year, it's my personal revolution.

So instead of a long list of things that I may or may not remember to look at throughout year. I have two things on my New Years resolution list:

1. Make sure the people I care about know that I appreciate them and why I appreciate them.
2. Say a lot less and do a lot more.

Obviously I have sub-categories of all the personal changes I would like to make. But for now, I think that's a good start. Hopefully, when those sub-categories start playing out, I won't have to tell you about it you'll just know. :) In ending I implore you to join with me in echoing the words of Nike advertising"

Just do it.
Happy 2012.


Ps. I just re-enabled the comment option  (which blogger promises is much better now) so feel free!

Grandpa

It's been just over two months since my grandpa passed away. I don't know what I thought it would be like to loose someone so close to me, but I definitely did not expect the experience I'm having.

I've learned a lot about grief the last two months. I've gone through grieving periods in my life before, some even more intense than the feelings that I have now, but none have been so impacting, and life altering.

At first it was a sudden burst of inspiration. My grandpa was ( and his spirit lives on and is still!) an amazing man. He came from nothing and build his life to everything. The last week of his life and weeks after his death our whole family saturated ourselves in the legacy that he left. Telling old stories, and vicariously reliving his life. We watched videos, looked at pictures and reminisced for hours. This time with our family was more precious that anything. We grew, and continue to grow closer because of this experience and have pulled together in a way I didn't think that even our close family could.

Through the inspiration period was also many tears an shock that we were really saying goodbye for good.

But now that life has returned to it's semi-normal state, I'm settling into a new emotion. It's the memories that hit me when I'm lest expecting it, the exchanges with my grandma, packing up his old stuff with her and bringing it to a second-hand shop. It's eating breakfast at his favorite restaurant, telling his favorite joke. It's wearing his ring that I got after he died. It's everything.

But what is really life altering has been the relationship with my grandma and cousins, how I give care to my patients when I'm working at the hospital. How i want to take pictures of everything and take every moment in.

I look my own parents differently. Someday, I will have to say goodbye to them too. Do I want to have regrets or an inspirational story to tell my children?

I don't look forward to the day that I am forced to go deeper in my understanding of grief. I know so many others experience tragedy that is far, far worse than what I may every experience. I only hope that I will have the strength to endure what is required of me.

don't wanna miss out

I just finished reading an old acquaintance's blog and was admiring how well written, full of feeling and inspiring it was. There was only a few posts in the entire blog but it left me with the feeling of  "wow, I want my life to be like that".

There are times when I'm so inspired and full of life and energy, and there are times when I feel tiered for no apparent reason. That's how I've felt the last few weeks. Then, in moments like this I remember what makes me excited and happy and what brings me down. How I love to make people smile and give them a reason to be happy that day. I think about how much I love Jesus and how I love experiencing His love 'cause when I'm not totally and completely surrounded by these things, i feel depressed, sad, tiered, and lonely.

So now, I'm looking outside and it's absolutely gorgeous! So i'm going to go outside to experience some life. It's everywhere, all around me, and i don't want to miss out.

Is Theology Replacing The Bible?

Today in theology lecture  my professor talked about the American Revolution and how after the war there was a movement among churches to reject the two main creeds of Protestant Christianity, the Nicene creed and the Apostle's creed. They rejected these creeds on the basis that the bible should be the main source of our Christianity, and that only the bible should be the foundation of our beliefs as well as the plumb line to guard against false teachings.

Some of the main leaders of this movement included James O'Kelly (1793), former methodist minister, Barton Stone (1803), formerly Presbyterian, and Alexander Campbell (1809), who had connection with the Baptist church. These 'restoration' leaders wished to have independent churches unaffiliated with any denomination. Although these groups had many errors in beliefs, and couldn't agree even amongst themselves, the idea that birthed their movement triggers questions in my mind.  Are we (all denominations in general, but also more specifically the CRC and RCA) replacing knowledge of the bible with knowledge of theology (possibly because we see them as the same)?  And if we are, what effect is this having on our faith?

This comment made by my professor inspired this posts:
     " The bible is so big that it is hard to know what is in it, if we memorize the creeds, we can know what is false right away."


(In clarification this comment was aimed toward laypersons, not pastors or clergy)

Does this statement bother you? I'm sure it depends how you view faith. From the time that many conservative Calvinist's kids are able to read (maybe before) they are already memorizing the Heidelberg Catechism, and the Apostle's Creed is recited almost every Sunday. Although these same kids as adults could most likely tell you the main points of predestination and why babies are baptized instead of adults, they probably could not quote you many verses other than John 3:16 and Psalms 23. Not only that, but if you ask them about their personal experience or relationship with Christ, the answers that they give you will probably be cliche'.
(I realize that this is definitely not true across the board, but I'm using extreme situations to stress a point) 

Is this right? Where is the fire, the passion, the excitement and life? It's our love for God and our hunger for Him that inspires us to read, know and explore the words of the bible and not only that, but to let them renew our minds and change our lives. It's the Holy Spirit that shows us what is false teaching and alerts us to  what does not line up with the character of God. How are we to know that by a creed, a statement of believe or catechism? It's not an academic exercise that will lead us from death to life but a relationship that is so deep that nothing on earth, in heaven, or even in hell can ever separate us from it.

 Most of my life there has been a strong importance placed on bible memorization in our home, and family devotions were a daily occurrence. Three years ago I was encouraged to look at the bible from a different angle then I ever had before. I felt like the world suddenly went from black & white to color. I began to see all the promises that God has given us, the lies that I was believing about who I am, and the authority that I have in Christ. All those verses that I had memorized as a child suddenly became what Eph.6 talks about, they were a sword in my hand.

I recognized where the theology of my denominational background did not line up with what I was seeing and reading on the pages of the bible, and started to realize that there was so much I didn't even know about! My prayer life took off, and where before I could barely pray 5 minutes, I now can spend hours in prayer with others and by myself. Worship is no longer singing one hymn from the psalter and then siting down in a methodical, formal manner, but it's raising holy hands before my God, opening my heart and dancing before my Lord. Instead of empty platitudes I can encourage others with real, substantial truth and pray for them with a heart that truly believes God has a miracle for that person and wants to show them his manifest love.

God is no longer a distant imagination, but a present reality. A creed cannot do all that.

So in conclusion my challenge is this, open your mind and heart and explore God's word in a new way. Don't believe something because you were told to believe it or because your church reads it on sundays, believe it because you know it's true.

I'm in no way trying to undermine the importance of studying theology, nor am I saying that creeds and statements of belief aren't good things. I very much recocgnize the place and importance of them. My point is that they should be a tool, but never take the place that the bible has in our lives or in our relationship with God.

Let the colors of the world paint your soul

I've been studying the book of Ezra lately. Until about 2 months ago, I didn't even know the story, now, I can't get enough of how life changing this book is! My Aunt Barb gave me some good advice the other week when she came to visit. She said that so often we rush over chapters/book of the bible to get onto the next thing. But if we just stay in one section for awhile and really let it sink into our hearts, God can really use it to change our lives.

Rom. 12:2 says to renew our mind daily -- renew it with the truth the truth that God loves you, cares about you in such a deep way that he would never, never do anything that isn't the VERY best for you, not just ok, or semi good.

He takes care of the birds and the flowers -- how much more will he take care of us?

Lesson for the week -- be patient. open my heart.

The world has so much color, let it paint your soul.