hello, old friend

Haven't thought much of this blog in AGES! Then tonight I got all caught up in reading old posts. Wow, life is crazy isn't it? Basically in every post I go on and on about how stressed out I am and how much i have to do, how i'm putting of my work, and of course how much fun I was having traveling the world.

It would seem that I'm in a totally different place just a few months later. I'm a senior now, in fact, only one more semester to go and hopefully (after I take my boards) I'll offically be Rachel deBoer BSN, RN. Wow.... YES! five letters after my name!

I haven't left the country in almost 9 months, which is weird and strangely depressing for me.. and unfortunately life has not slowed down much. I think I've realized though, that i like the fast pace that I set for myself.  Even thought I complain about my schedule and work load, without it i feel lost. 

The last few months have been incredibly stretching for me. I think I've grown a lot in several different ways. Someone recently told me that maturity is realizing that you can't have everything you want right now. I know that for some people that is not a shocking statement, in fact, they have believed it their whole life and lived by it. But not me! Of course, I have definitely had my fair share of not getting what I want when I want it, but my philosophy of life has always been seize the day. I ALWAYS seize every opportunity. I seize the CRAP out of days! I don't want to miss a single thing! I just want it all, and I want it all right now. 

So far it's worked out quite fantastically for me. I really have lived. I've lived a lot more in 23 years than some may live their whole lives. But for some reason, the last few months, I've crashed. Everything I believed in, everything I thought was true I doubted. I'm graduating in 4 months and I have no idea what the heck I want out of life. All my seizing has been fantastic, but I forgot to map out a long term plan. 

I know what I want to experience, I know that I love so, so many things, but what happens now? I can't live chasing the wind. I need to figure something out. On the outside, the last few weeks have been great. Christmas break has been filled with lots of fun times and fun people. But on the inside, I'm feeling slightly (understatement) lost. 

I don't want to be stuck. I don't want to spend my life waiting for my dreams to come true. I've never been good at waiting. 

So now it's back to trusting. I know that God has a plan. I have watched him rescue me over and over till I wonder if he will just let me go the next time. Is this time different? I don't know. It sure feels different. 

In my head i doubt. But I know, I'll be ok. My trust runs deep, deeper than even my mind can go. 

Hm....

If these are the worst things in my life.... than I must have it pretty dang good!


ps. I love you

It's been awhile

Hello again!
It's been awhile since my last post and for lots of good reasons! I've been extremely occupied with finals, moving back home for the summer and hosting a group of friends for 10 days that just basically changed my life! Seriously this week has been incredible. I don't even know where to start! The week ended with an amazing Jake Hamilton concert that rocked me in so many ways! The freedom in the room was incredible! His words were so inspired and his passion so un-containable! You just wanted to dance with your whole soul.

But the most meaningful thing that I learned this week is the need for community, not just friend, but friends who are family. There's a difference between being with people and living with them. There's a richness in staying up late, drinking tea and coffee, watching movies, making breakfast together and squishing in the back seat of cars. The difference is community. Learning one another's heart and loving them. It's just so beautiful!

Saying goodbye is the hard part!

Muy felize is me

Three exams down, two more to go! Can't believe it's already the last week of school. Can't wait for summer!

Anyway, I'm especially, super excited for the end of the week cause Friday Angie and Steven fly in!  Yea I'm pretty excited (as you can tell). Angie is one of my very best friends from New Zealand and she's freaking awesome! So anyway, her and her brother are coming to town for a fun filled week of whatever the heck we want! basically I can't wait.

Hopefully I'll take pictures. I probably will.
Oh and did I mention I only have two more finals left?

Yeah, I'm excited.

Just when I'm doin' ok...

It seems just when I'm doing okay with being here: with school, life, home, Chicago. Just when I'm finally fine...

I get bit by that awful bug, and I just wanna leave and go anywhere. I read a blog, see a picture, watch a movie, and I get those butterflies that come with the adrenaline rush of adventure, followed by a pit in my stomach.... and then I listen to some sad music and feel almost better because I can vicariously live my life through a song:

Worst things list

I hate going to bed! It's horrible. On my list of the worst things in life are:

 1) cleaning the cat's litter box  ( r.i.p. socks deboer )

 2) doing laundry 

 3) going to bed

I don't know why particularly, cause none of those things are HORRIBLE per-se. But I just put them off as long as I possibly can. 

So tonight I'm sitting here alone (everyone else is sleeping) avoiding sleep. 

Sometimes when I get in moods like this I watch seasons of One tree hill and Gilmore Girls till the sun comes up, sometimes I write blog posts or journal, play solitaire or look through facebook pictures for hours. After a while my eyes start burning and I can't keep them open anymore. Then sleep overtakes me and i give in. 

It's a weird life. 

So until tomorrow.... 

hehe, me and my niece, isn't she cute?

Undiscovered

This song is amazing. A-frickin-mazing.

To Our Soliders

Yesterday I got 13 hits from Iraq! 


Obvi I don't know for sure, but I'm assuming that at least a couple of them were from our soldiers! In the rare chance that you stop by my blog again today I just want to say HAPPY EASTER! and thank you for spending your holiday away from your family and those you love in service to our country.


You are loved and appreciated!


Come home safe!

On the summer reading list

Can't wait to read "Love Wins" by Rob Bell.

 I've been hearing so much about it and reading lots of reviews.

Take a Breath... and Run

If You Were a Melody

"If you were a melody, 
            I'd use only the good notes. "

  - The Holiday

They must, therefore, have been planted....

"These ideas, thoughts and loves, flow from somewhere other than me. They are to complex for me to understand, to deep in my soul to have placed them myself. They must, therefore, have been planted there by the one who created me. He has so many treasures hidden in my heart that I still have so many yet to find."

                                  

Discovered.

So in the last couple days as I've been searching the internet for interesting things that tickle my fancy ( blogs, twitter, pictures, music, art ect.) I realized that the best posts, are short posts.

Nobody reads the long ones, no matter how captivating they claim to be.

So today I'm posting short.

Your welcome.

When doing must be done

There comes a time when there is nothing left to do other than what you should be doing. When all conflicting options are exhausted and productiveness must overcome the desire to do what is wasteful or unwise.

My goal... is not to let myself get to that point

To skip or not to skip....

Just so you know... I should be in class right now 

I can feel it coming!

Summer is just around the corner

Four more weeks!!!!

I can do it!

Ramen Noodles!

Everyone knows that Ramen Noodles are a college student's staple. But by Junior/Senior year, they're gettin' a bit old. Here's some ways to Spice um up!

Let there be a flood of justice....

Ecuador:The story (part one)

I'm not sure how my story telling skills are, I haven't got much feedback besides the fact that I tend to make things seem like they're really really exciting, then my endings are (in the words [or word rather] of my best friend) anticlimactic.  Let's hope that in this story the ending is the best part!

It was Tuesday night, and here I was back in my dorm, all packed up and ready to go! I had my headphones, my sunglasses and my trusty bag (which is basically all you need in life) and most of all I head heart my friends. I was ready to embark on this adventure with my fellow nursing students to the land of spiders and monkeys and big flying bugs. It was totally on! I wish I had a picture to mark this moment in history but alas my broken and incomplete explanation of the event will be the only momentum to this joyous occasion. 

Then after that, I went to bed. (sometimes life just isn't exciting folks, that's just the way it is)

 After waking up bright and early Wednesday morning we left. Way early. Like 4 hours before our plan was going to leave. Apparently our professors wanted to be extra prepared much to the dismay of all 18 of us loitering in the terminal four hours on end (pun intended). However, on a side note, I was super excited to get a call from my good friend Kali who had just gotten engaged! 

Kali and Matt

Waiting in O'hare

Finally on the plane!

After eating breakfast (and lunch) and calling everyone in my phone contact list, we finally boarded the plane! I was tired and I knew we were scheduled to get into Quito late so I decided to sleep as much as I could. There was a layover in Miami which was pretty uneventful. Well, we did eat at this Mexican restaurant with horrible service that I highly discourage anyone who finds themselves in Miami airport to go to. But other than that, nothing. After more waiting we boarded again and after a few hours, finally landed in Quito. 

Eating at the Mexican Restaurant 

It took some time to get all our luggage sorted and get the group through customs, some of us even broke out  our 'gracious' and 'por favors.' Excitement and expectation was in the air as we wondered about our accommodations, what we would be doing, and whether or not the bugs were really as big as they looked on Google.

Bug from Google

We met some of our group leaders for the first time and then headed outside, expecting the warm air to embrace our skin with all the love that summer had taken with it some long months ago. Instead, however, we were greeted with torrential rain fall. Apparently it was the rainy season. Forgot to mention that huh, Google! Oh well, nothing could get these brave hearts down! We were in Ecuador! We grabbed our bags and our determination and headed outside the comfort of the airport into the wet, black night.

To be continued....

Happy day after Valentine's Day

 Just sitting in my living room enjoying a cup of hot chocolate studying away. 

Hope ur Valentine's Day was filled with love!

xoxo

The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save;

He will rejoice over you with gladness; He will quiet you with his Love

he will exult over you with loud Singing .

Zephaniah 3:17 

One year 2 months....

Till I graduate! It may be a little soon to think about that, but sometimes my imagination gets the best of me and I find myself planning my life after graduation, like how I want to decorate my first apartment.
I want it too look a lot like this:

It's Milly's apartment from the movie

 'Because I Said So' 

Cory Asbury - He Is Yahweh

Home again

Well gosh darn it, I'm home! 

     Of course Ecuador was amazing and there is so, so many stories to tell! I haven't even uploaded my pictures yet I've been so busy with the starting of another semester.


     I have so many exciting things to write about! Instead of overwhelming you with them all at once I'll start with a simple picture and a promise of lots more to come, both about my Ecuador trip and exciting things happening in my life.

 Shandia, Ecuador in front of Jim Elliots house. 

Almost there!

Wow... what a week! I just had an amazing time at the ONETHING conference put on by IHOP (international house of prayer) not to be confused with pancakes... though there're good to. 


It was an intense 4 day event attended by over 25,000 totally sold out God people. I walked into the convention center auditorium and I immediately got goose bumps over my entire body. The speakers were passionate, the worship leaders completely anointed and the people totally on fire with the holy spirit. I felt like I was "unplugged" of so much junk that was piled up in my spirit over the last few months. It was amazing to let loose, pray and worship, listen to amazing speakers and of course be with awesome friends! What a way to bring in the new year!

Now it's time to pack for Ecuador! WHAt?! I know right, time flies! Can't believe it, i have meetings tomorrow and then wed. I fly out. I'm so excited! I just know that God is going to do amazing things. I'm so pumped right now! I'm so excited to meet the people, taste the food, see the sites and of course meet some amazing people and get to know a little about their culture. 

God is a God of diversity, change and new beginnings. He loves to show us the adventure of his nature and the tenderness of his heart. Whoever said that a life with God is boring is obviously missing something major because it's never, never a dull moment! Have you read the bible?! look at the stories of Joshua, Moses, Ezekiel, David, the apostle Paul, Peter, Timothy the disciples, their lives are so far from boring! But it's a dangerous thing to give your all, it required sacrifice and faith, it requires strength, boldness and endurance, but the good news is that we're not alone, that we don't have to come up with these things by ourselves! It's God that worketh in us both to DO and to WILL of his good pleasure.


 Don't be scared that you'll waver, falter, or fall cause the one who gave everything for you is still there to catch you every time. His love for you is a raging fire, it can't be tamed, it's flames can't be diminished or put out. His eyes are a flames of fire, but his voice is that of streams of water, gentle, refreshing and inviting. He is passion and peace, the very epitome of all that is zealous, wild and raging, yet he is all love, all mercy, all quietness.  


Rest in his love... he invites you to rest.

Stay tuned for more about my trip... stories, pictures and all that wonderful stuff! I'm going to try and post as much as possible in the next couple weeks.