I promise not to promise...

Empty promises are everywhere. From the friend who says, "oh don't worry, I'll pay you back," to the "Congratulations, you just won 100 free ipads," pop ups on the side of your facebook page. We are all guilty at some point or another. Many times empty promises are made with the best intentions. We really did mean to pay that friend back! But even still, empty promises leave a trail of frustration and hurt behind them. We create expectation in others and then let them down.  

This has been the fallout of so many relationships, the core of so much disappointment. Surprise, 8 year old girl! You will probably never get that pony.

And then there's another kind of empty promise, the kind we promise to ourselves and to other's about ourselves.

Can anyone say, New Years resolutions? Yes, I'm 100% for self-betterment. I know that being stagnant is unrewarding and basically renders life pointless. We all want to grow and change. But the thing that bothers me, is promising myself yet another thing and then being disappointed. It's the goals and plans that i make, and then watch be dashed to the rocks by one thing or another.

So this is my question. How do I change, and grow, and have goals with out letting myself down? One of my favorite quotes is "Don't tell people your dreams, show um." I want to be someone who follows through. If I say it, it's done.

What would the world be like if we brought honor back to the words that we speak? Not only to others, but also to ourselves. Look at your new years resolutions, are they measurable, reachable goals that actually fit into your lifestyle in a reasonable way?  Make this the year. DO THEM! Modify and tweak your goals till they work for you and make them happen. Turn over a new leaf and actually pay your friend back, get the frickin pony (hypothetically of course, unless you really want a pony, then by all means...) and eat all your green vegetables!

When you say, "Oh your should come over for dinner!" to someone, try actually having them over! I know, it's a revolution. But this year, it's my personal revolution.

So instead of a long list of things that I may or may not remember to look at throughout year. I have two things on my New Years resolution list:

1. Make sure the people I care about know that I appreciate them and why I appreciate them.
2. Say a lot less and do a lot more.

Obviously I have sub-categories of all the personal changes I would like to make. But for now, I think that's a good start. Hopefully, when those sub-categories start playing out, I won't have to tell you about it you'll just know. :) In ending I implore you to join with me in echoing the words of Nike advertising"

Just do it.
Happy 2012.


Ps. I just re-enabled the comment option  (which blogger promises is much better now) so feel free!

Something New - just for fun

I've been reading a few more blogs than normal lately. Usually I just post on here and I'm done. I don't spend a lot of time reading other blogs. But, I found myself with some extra time and for a while the other day I happened upon a few that I found really interesting. I realized a lot of them post outfits and fashion idea. It's fun looking at the pictures of what other's wear and all that jazz.

All that to say, I broke down and took a picture of my outfit today.

Gap skinny jeans ( hand me downs from my beloved sister) 

Buckle grey tank 

Express white tank with ruffles

Dry Goods cotton blazer ( favorite semi-new store in Schaumburg Woodfield mall) 

Opal necklace compliments of my mother 

Don't have my shoes on yet, but will probably wear something the boot department since there's like 4 inches of snow on the ground right now. 

Also, I'm finishing the post with 5 recommendations for those who's 2012 resolution is spicing up their style 

1. Get some good jeans (lets all try to eliminate mom-butt in 2012)

2. Don't be afraid to ask the sales women for help, it's their job and if they're good at their job, they will be more than happy to help you find what you didn't know you were looking for. 

3. Read fashion magazines, my personal favorite is Instyle 

4. Find someone who's style you're drawn to and ask them for advice, or to go shopping with you

5. Don't be afraid to branch out. 

And the bonus: CLEAN OUT YOUR CLOSET! You  may have some treasures hidden in there that you forgot about. 

Grandpa

It's been just over two months since my grandpa passed away. I don't know what I thought it would be like to loose someone so close to me, but I definitely did not expect the experience I'm having.

I've learned a lot about grief the last two months. I've gone through grieving periods in my life before, some even more intense than the feelings that I have now, but none have been so impacting, and life altering.

At first it was a sudden burst of inspiration. My grandpa was ( and his spirit lives on and is still!) an amazing man. He came from nothing and build his life to everything. The last week of his life and weeks after his death our whole family saturated ourselves in the legacy that he left. Telling old stories, and vicariously reliving his life. We watched videos, looked at pictures and reminisced for hours. This time with our family was more precious that anything. We grew, and continue to grow closer because of this experience and have pulled together in a way I didn't think that even our close family could.

Through the inspiration period was also many tears an shock that we were really saying goodbye for good.

But now that life has returned to it's semi-normal state, I'm settling into a new emotion. It's the memories that hit me when I'm lest expecting it, the exchanges with my grandma, packing up his old stuff with her and bringing it to a second-hand shop. It's eating breakfast at his favorite restaurant, telling his favorite joke. It's wearing his ring that I got after he died. It's everything.

But what is really life altering has been the relationship with my grandma and cousins, how I give care to my patients when I'm working at the hospital. How i want to take pictures of everything and take every moment in.

I look my own parents differently. Someday, I will have to say goodbye to them too. Do I want to have regrets or an inspirational story to tell my children?

I don't look forward to the day that I am forced to go deeper in my understanding of grief. I know so many others experience tragedy that is far, far worse than what I may every experience. I only hope that I will have the strength to endure what is required of me.